Archive for December 23rd, 2005

Dear …

My impression on people has been always determined by how I feel. My heart was my only guide, and by the time, I used to find out that my opinion (don’t want to say judgement) was right. except for few times (when lies are involved, I am not good with lies).

But seems, this is no longer works, I guess I am no longer connected to my innerself that the signals do not mean anything to me, I no longer see clear visions, people are vague, things are blurry, facts are messed up…

I don’t know why I am fond of building statues for people without even knowing them well, and when the truth began to be revealed … the statues start to collapse, and the people lose thier existance, the choices are getting fewer, the path gets narrower.

I am not a perfectionist, but unless things are crystal clear, I don’t see them.
How can I trust people, if it is my heart that I can no longer trust.
How can I tell, if what I being told is the truth when I don’t know it.

Words have acquired so many meanings than the ones I used to know. so even speaking the same language will never do me any good, still won’t be understood.

I have few good friends, I can’t have so many , it’s a responsibility and requires devotion, time, feelings and attention. what I can offer can not be taken from the great friends that I already have to be distributed among a larger group. Iwon’t be the same caring and loving friend to them, I won’t be me.

Am I differnent , or .. it’s the people. I feel like an alien as if I don’t belong.
Or that everyone has a role to play, and he is playing it for his own pleasure… so TAKE A BOW , …. “BRAVO”.



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