Archive for September 8th, 2006

Kolenya layla

She started to grow up, went to school and a whole new world has opened its arm to show her what’s inside. She decided to go and explore, till she found a guard following her wherever she goes, dictating what she can do and what she can’t, what she can say and what she can’t. Looked at her friends and found other guards just like him standing beside each one of the girls.
But one observation was always there…boys never had guards with them.
She went and asked her parents about the guard, they said he is Mr. Customs and traditions, he is the society’s representative, He is there for your own sake and protection. She asked further more and what about all you have taught me…principles, values and religious learning’s. They replied: we can’t help it; we will be criticized if we fired him. What will people say about us, about you?
She got older, more mature and got accustomed to her life. And somehow saturated with the culture she has brought up in.
Went to a broader world, found different patterns than the ones she used to see; the conservative, guarded girls. The problem is they belonged to the other extreme. She struggled sometime but found a way between this and that, a moderate way, that doesn’t differentiate between guys and girls and doesn’t take social or economical status into consideration. It just knows what is right and what is wrong.
Continued her journey at work, with great passion and enthusiasm, trying to prove herself and grow. The assumptions at the beginning were that she is not good, or solid enough. That was challenging but she said I will do whatever it takes to prove them wrong.
Started to think of the ones she is willing to share her life with. …where he is and how will she know him. She saw different, not so encouraging types, I must say she wasn’t lucky… ranging from the one who is totally irresponsible, to a hesitant, greedy, insensitive, or Mr. I can do better and this type is sadly prevailing.
He thinks since he makes a good living, guys to girls ratio in Egypt is like 1 to 15 (it could be more, don’t know the exact ratio, guessing). So he has to be very picky and very selective. And he forgets that girls are human beings and their feelings have to be respected.
He remains thinking and thinking and have this shortlist of girls and starts examining.
Then to continue the bargain, he takes his family and check the bride’s house, ask how many TV sets they have and how many AC’s and cars they own, stay for hours. (I swear to god it happened), getting into some other financial aspects, causing great discomfort for the girl’s parents, and then just leave for good. Why, no one knows.
And then she has to endure the society’s intervention in her life and curiosity of why she didn’t get married. Why would she marry anyone comes at her door if she doesn’t think he is the right person or she doesn’t have feelings for him… the society? Again Mr. customs and tradition?
If only they know that she is not after the diamond ring (it’s just a rock), or money or the title “Mrs” to please people around her. If only they know she needs care, emotional security and protection. The greatest thing she can offer is love and that’s what she only wants in return. Life is all about sharing and she is willing to build with him a life rather than inherit it.
I saw a movie the other day, the main female character wrote a letter and said “I miss my trees”, the response of the one who loved her was, he went and took the tree off the ground and planted it where she resides. I know it’s fancy stuff.
But that’s all what we all want the tree never the rock , appreciation and support at work and a childhood with no guards other than the parental loving teachings.



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