Archive for June, 2007

Stronger, fearless, cautious, daring, courageous, thankful, experienced, wise, alive, empathetic, vulnerable, sensitive, forceful, changeable, … HUMAN.

In a conversation: “Nesrina.. it’s not like you”
My answer,” well I have changed, I don’t fear disappointment like I used to be, I would rather handle one more disappointment than losing another chance”.


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“Can’t believe I can speak fluent French, am working in a multinational and I am living this life, deep down I feel …am just an ordinary Egyptian peasant with braids like the ones you see in old movies”…. One of my friends once told me that.

So let me ask …
– What do you see when you look at the mirror?

– What do you remember of your childhood dreams about your future?

– How far are you from those dreams”?

– Do the picture you see in the mirror, and the picture your friends as well as strangers perceive about you match?

– Have you even known what do they see in you? Aren’t you curious?

– If you are not living the life you thought you are gonna have, how did you manage to cope?

– Haven’t you ever felt you are standing on a stage playing a role and hoping you get done with it so you can be yourself again?

– And at a point in time, haven’t you ever enjoyed a specific part of the role or the whole acting thing, thought you might be good since everybody believes you?

– Why do we hide the simplest easily attained dreams inside and try to trade them off with the society appealing sophisticated ones?

– Who are we trying to impress or satisfy?

– Or is the real world just so complicated than we thought and it’s the price we pay to belong.

I think it’s crazy yet fun to have those so many faces… the world is a vast space and when you are younger you tend to believe that since your future is ahead, you can be anything and the problem gets harder when you find you can be so many things.

When I was young I wanted to play piano, wanted to become a painter, wanted to become a teacher, wanted to find the love of my life at college and live a normal simple happy life ever after.
Surprise… Surprise I am neither of the above…

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I am not referring to the movie it’s just the idea itself… “If a person is one “step” away from each person he or she knows and two “steps” away from each person who is known by one of the people he or she knows, then everyone is no more than six “steps” away from each person on Earth”.

What I mean here is the “FACEBOOK”, it’s the trend now and almost all the blogs have mentioned it. (Have just seen a new post about it at Juka’s blog)

Yesterday I arrived at work and first thing after checking my business emails, was opening it to find that it has been added to the restricted sites. Still I can check it from home although with the classes and all I don’t have that much time.

It’s wonderful sharing instantly with your friends what you are doing, what you like and how the weekend is going …
Another amazing thing… is meeting old colleagues and join their groups, it’s like a dream coming true to get connected to people from the good old days, share with each other our memories and catch up.

But the most apparent and astonishing thing is … “Masr kolaha 3arfa ba3d” !!!
People are connected to each other in a weird way, you just can’t help commenting “from where did these people know each other”, it’s like the perfect example of the six degrees of separation rule.

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Testing the water…

Have you ever seen how little children whenever they see something appealing they just jump into it without thinking and with no fear. Scientifically it’s explained as they don’t perceive the 3rd dimension. But I believe it’s just more than that…

We have an interesting Egyptian proverb “Elly yetlese3 men el shorba … :D” it says that who gets his tongue burnt from hot soup will blow in the yogurt.

Personally, I try to take all the precautions possible whenever I am up to something new, though I sometimes feel the urge to just jump and see what happens.
But even when I decide to close my eyes and jump I tend to test the water first which is not always effective neither metaphorically or even literally speaking.

What does it mean to extend your bare foot and see how warm is the water, what if it’s warm and the sea is calm, will you just continue on and immerse yourself in the water? What if … a minute later you get stung by a jelly fish.
What will your next water testing be, now that there has been an unfortunate event in your history.

We all have been stung and we had our share of previous disappointing experiences that leaks bitterness whenever we press on it.
In some other incidences… you can be the water that is being tested, and you wonder what the tester wants to know, why and how to act…
Will you show that you know what is going on or just ignore and see what will happen.

My comment about the whole thing is:
Some things are just meant to be and life doesn’t offer any guarantees.

Years ago I used to do the best I can at work to ensure that nothing goes wrong, one time things got out of my control and I failed to do a specific task… guess what happened? ….nothing !
Then I realized that I am entitled to make mistakes and accidents will happen. It’s how we learn to handle, endure and fix them.

Note to self: it’s so great to write again… I missed that feeling.

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