Archive for March, 2009


We all want, try and strive to be happy. One fact … “nothing remains the same”.
We fear “change” in good times but we wish for it when we are sad and lonely.
That’s how we realize how fair it is. Change can be drastic and flip our lives upside down in one instance but it’s the only thing that can fix it back again. We always like the “change” when it’s to an instant perceivable better but it’s too painful when involves loss.

Even by our humble humanistic measures when we work on something and we can see it’s messed up sometimes the solution is to get rid of everything and start all over again, start from scratch, sacrificing the time and effort already invested for a better result.

May be that what is meant when we lose something we have already worked at and put our heart and soul in. We feel sorry for that part of us lost with it but we wait for the change. We wait so eagerly and keep it in front of us all the time to numb the pain and fill the emptiness. We start looking right and left try to read the signs that we have missed and lead us to the wrong way. Sometimes we don’t see any and sometimes we see too many and get confused. Just like a baby… a needy, clingy baby who wants to catch anything and hold on to it to feel safe and to belong.

Happiness doesn’t last nor does sadness, loss is what life is about … everything has its own maturity and expiry date. Life itself one day will end that’s why we have to be realistic about our expectations.

One day I was feeling so down, I was at work and it was time for Dohr prayer.
I went to the praying room and after I was done, I noticed two girls sitting in the corner, while I was adjusting myself and putting on my shoes I heard one of them telling the other “I have learned not to get so excited about anything nor get depressed” the other girl was so astonishes and asked her back” and why is that” she said “my mother has passed away, and since then I knew I can never be as happy as I was when she was with me and also nothing can hurt as much as her loss has made me feel.”

I was so moved by what the girl has said …her voice and the way she was saying it. She didn’t seem or sound sad or happy just like she was saying, she didn’t show any particular emotion that I could recognize and yet charged me with a lot of emotions, thoughts and gratitude to god. Really whenever we have a problem we have to remember there are worse. While someone is laughing across the street someone else is aching.
We are not alone, it’s a cycle of good times and bad times and everyone has his/her time and share.

It’s acceptance and faith that have to be sought before happiness, it’s time that can heal and solve problems when we fail to and support that can make things more tolerable if not from outside when everyone has enough and nobody seem to listen it’s from within.

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You know what … fairytales aren’t impossible as they say and they could happen bearing in mind that the concept has two flaws.

1- Happy Endings: in movies the loving couple get married… so what’s next … gabo 3eyal tala3o 3enhom? Howa sab el shoghl? She gained weight and he kept complaining? Darabha we shadaha men sha3raha? She discovered that he smells most of the time 🙂
2- Ever after: ezay ya3ni maho even if they stayed together one day haymooto 🙂

Seriously, at points we all have lived fairytales. True they didn’t last, they took moments, months, … because endings are always beginnings and nothing is immortal even love.

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