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Archive for the ‘Perspective’ Category

Two months ago, if you have asked me what was my coworker’s shirt color.
I would have said.., I don’t know, what was it… blue ? :S
This is just a simple example of how a bad observer I used to be.
Moreover, I would have said, I don’t care. It’s none of my business and I don’t judge people based on how they dress …

I haven’t changed my opinion by the way, but I have changed my outlook…
Have started reading about body language and reading people… (Haven’t bought books yet, just surfed the internet and read so many articles).

I heard at work an HR specialist once saying … I read people.
She mentioned something about a colleague and later on it has been proved right. May be it was one lucky guess? … may be. But still the fact that paying more attention to what people say and most importantly how they say it, can pretty much reveal what they mean and who they are.

We all have the gift, a sixth sense kind of thing that sometimes warns us upon meeting specific people that, they are not what they seem.
It can’t be described; it’s just a feeling that you are not comfortable.

The same gift makes us know when someone is lying.,, from the eyes, tone of voice, how nervous or cold that someone is, how consistent is the story being told.
And can also tell him/her that you are not buying it without saying a word.

However, some people are hard to read.. real bad people; of course because they are well trained, in full control of their body language .. they are not transparent.
Flirts/womanizers are somehow hard to read, it’s funny because you can easily tell they are interested but yet you can never tell if they are sincere. (good news … read them in an encounter with some other girl, watch the show and laugh out loud 😀 )

So it’s not always about the physical appearance, it’s what your postures, gestures and eyes are revealing. We just have to pay more attention if we really want to send and receive correct complete messages/ signals to one another.

About physical appearance and grooming, they do reveal things about the personality as well… it’s like a puzzle, so many pieces you put together to get somehow a closer picture (human beings are very complicated).

Have just remembered an advice a colleague once gave me about guys, since I didn’t use to pay attention. She went like “the three thing you MUST look at are: his watch, shoes and hands”. That was hilarious :D, it’s unbelievable how do people judge.

Cheers,

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Stronger, fearless, cautious, daring, courageous, thankful, experienced, wise, alive, empathetic, vulnerable, sensitive, forceful, changeable, … HUMAN.

In a conversation: “Nesrina.. it’s not like you”
My answer,” well I have changed, I don’t fear disappointment like I used to be, I would rather handle one more disappointment than losing another chance”.

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“Can’t believe I can speak fluent French, am working in a multinational and I am living this life, deep down I feel …am just an ordinary Egyptian peasant with braids like the ones you see in old movies”…. One of my friends once told me that.

So let me ask …
– What do you see when you look at the mirror?

– What do you remember of your childhood dreams about your future?

– How far are you from those dreams”?

– Do the picture you see in the mirror, and the picture your friends as well as strangers perceive about you match?

– Have you even known what do they see in you? Aren’t you curious?

– If you are not living the life you thought you are gonna have, how did you manage to cope?

– Haven’t you ever felt you are standing on a stage playing a role and hoping you get done with it so you can be yourself again?

– And at a point in time, haven’t you ever enjoyed a specific part of the role or the whole acting thing, thought you might be good since everybody believes you?

– Why do we hide the simplest easily attained dreams inside and try to trade them off with the society appealing sophisticated ones?

– Who are we trying to impress or satisfy?

– Or is the real world just so complicated than we thought and it’s the price we pay to belong.

I think it’s crazy yet fun to have those so many faces… the world is a vast space and when you are younger you tend to believe that since your future is ahead, you can be anything and the problem gets harder when you find you can be so many things.

When I was young I wanted to play piano, wanted to become a painter, wanted to become a teacher, wanted to find the love of my life at college and live a normal simple happy life ever after.
Surprise… Surprise I am neither of the above…

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What are the criteria for success, how can you say you didn’t fail when you actually aren’t moving.
I am not moving, isn’t that failure? When you accomplish something you should supposedly proceed with the next level.
But what does it mean to do things right and often be thanked or appreciated for them and then nothing else happens. It’s not only about work, it’s about everything …
Is it a trade mill, I am walking and sometimes running and when I look around I find myself at the exact same place.
May be I am the one who doesn’t know how to take things to the next level. May be it’s because I like to be offered things rather than asking for them.
Yes I don’t ask for things but it isn’t out of arrogance, it’s just a decision I took based on a history of disappointments.
I have faith and I will remain thankful to god no matter what. After all may be there are good things that I didn’t have but there are bad things that I didn’t experience either. It’s a package in a way, a balanced timely one.
I still need to learn things and above all, I should be more patient.
Recently I am tending to be reactive, doing things without thinking carefully unlike me and then regret and wonder how can I ever fix it.
May be I should let go a little, should be more flexible and give myself a chance.
May be I should do risky things, may be I should find myself another passion to fill the emptiness in my heart… in my soul. May be I need a push…
Soft, encouraging talks aren’t always the remedy, sometimes you need someone to confront you with your flaws and let you see what others see and never told you about. Shake you harshly to let you open your eyes and realize what is going wrong, leave you to think and may be cry…
There is nothing I know for sure… they are all “MAY BE/s”. I am searching for the steps/levels, bored and tired of the flat corridor and want to get out and see the sun.

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My colleague who used to share the office with me has resigned. Now the office is all mine and although I will miss her and all , still I am enjoying being alone in the office.
I do enjoy and appreciate a good company, and having a quality time with dear family members, good friends and interesting people.
People whom I can relate to, benefit or benefit from, share with them thoughts and opinions. Listen and talk and feel secure and warm just by being with them.

It’s always about the quality of people not the quantity, I have never had a large number of friends but I have always been blessed with wonderful ones.
I don’t feel comfortable at all in parties, events or large outings, I can’t even talk in the presence of more than five people. It’s not because I am shy or I have nothing to say … I am shy it’s not the reason. The reason is and I am talking about us loud Egyptians, normally you find one of these patterns:

1- Someone starts talking about himself/herself the whole time without giving anyone the chance to say anything other than commenting with two or three words.
2- Someone who plays the role of the funny guy or girl telling jokes and makes fun of people who might be or might not be present.
3- People who talks about something I don’t have enough knowledge about, so I would better listen and benefit rather than interrupting for no reason.
4- People talking about topics that I am not really interested in. So instead of acting like a hypocrite, why don’t I just act politely, smile and leave to have a better use of my time.
5- Talking in public about family or personal matters that I wouldn’t feel comfortable intruding in.

I believe I can’t be regarded as a sociable person, I am more of a calm, introverted kind,
I value people as well as the silent moments and they don’t intimidate me.

I can sit with someone and feel content with just the energy spread from his intellect, charisma or warmth with very few words said but mattered rather than a violent evening of loud voices, hysterical laughs, and phones ringing.

Loneliness has nothing to do with having someone in your room/office or not, it’s having no one in your heart… that’s loneliness. So I thank god I am not lonely.

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The last and never found piece

Puzzle is one of my favorite games, I see some similarity putting the pieces together to form one picture and getting to know someone.

In the sense that some people are easy to comprehend and have a full picture of who they are and others who have like thousand pieces that you might not have neither the time nor the effort to see what they will turn out to be in the end.

The most difficult kinds of that human puzzles are those ones in disguise, yes, they look and act something that they are not. So whenever you grab a piece and put it where it should belong, you surprisingly see that it fits but the picture doesn’t match.., it gets more and more distorted and you get confused with it.

It’s very common to know someone only from the phone or emails, at work for instance when dealing with some other branches in may be other countries.

Or knowing people from their writings; reading their thoughts and ideas in their blogs, still it’s just one side, the other sides will always remain unknown.
Even more the revealed side might be hidden in reality and that’s why the only place for it to get liberated is expressing it in writing.

The common mistakes usually are, forgetting the main objective of collecting the pieces… that is to see the picture, just to know what it’s like not to assess or judge it. We all overlook that fact to the extent that we often try to interfere with the picture and try to change it.
Another thing, there will always be missing pieces, no one knows the whole truth but Allah.

In the end, life is a place where we are supposed to work to earn, plant to eat, and think to understand.

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Directions

There are key milestones in everyone’s life, … specific incidents, events, accidents and sometimes miracles.
But haven’t you ever stopped and wondered about their perfection, that set of well designed steps occurring one after the other in a particular timing and order with people selectively involved or may be not, things that wouldn’t normally happen and would never happen again …all are leading to just one thing.

It is god’s plan that no one can interfere in, allow or prevent any of it … and yet the choices are always available and so are directions.
The directions are the boundaries that we are living within, … the boundaries that get broader and wider as we get older, see more, read more, with experience, education, …

And there are also SIGNS, that aren’t tangible, very relative and controversial too.
To be frank, I think there are signs.
Explaining them using logic … if you agree with me that certain incidents do occur based on a series of actions or steps. Then seeing one of them and anticipating the another would get you close. It’s again subject to one’s experience may be or forecasting.

Within the spiritual range there comes intuition; having a bad feeling about something or someone and without even figuring out why and then you discover you were right.
Another aspect, seeing things in one’s dreams before they actually happen. (called in Islam Ro2ya “vision”)

However, getting drifted after the signs may sometimes create illusions, just like thirst can make you go after a mirage, the anxiety and the need to find a direction creates fake signs.
The worst part is when they are used as excuses, “I can’t go to work, I have that strange feeling …. ” signs and fate do work in parallel, so there are nothing to run away from.

Signs are signs, you are going fishing, you prepare yourself, go have a look at the weather’s forecast and sea condition (these are the two indicators “signs”), if they are okay, go ahead… it’s not a guarantee that things will go well but you are jeopardizing your safety ignoring them.

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