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Archive for February, 2007

Happy Birthday Tarek

What a coincidence two dear friends’ birthdays in one month.

Happy Birthday Tarek and here is your gift … a special calendar for you where the 29th of Feb does exist this year.

Wala yehemak, celebrate tomorrow and whoever says it’s the first of March show him the calendar.

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Also a due thanks for the EG-Bloggers group ya moderator 🙂

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Happy Birthday Ahmad

To my dear friend Ahmad, Happy Birthday…, my best wishes and regards.

My real gift is a prayer to keep Lebanon safe.

And my virtual one is below (remember this ), I adopted it for you 😀

Update: Wolverine has moved to Ahmad’s page.

Hope all your dreams come true.

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1. Hiding isn’t easy, where would you find a shelter to keep you from those whom you have let down when you disappeared.
2. Separation is when you know you are very near but you can’t be together.
3. Eyes have their way of saying goodbye, and their voice is clearly loud.
4. Though choice is abandoning an option that might have changed your life, this change was never meant to be. All the roads lead to only one way … Destiny.
5. Differences aren’t there to create disputes; they enrich one’s soul, make us in a way complete each other and add a flavor to life.
6. I am very content with the second chances I had as well the ones that I haven’t.
7. Why would we regret losing something we have never celebrated having in the first place?
8. Being solid isn’t being strong; Ice is solid, but hold a cube for a minute in your hand and see what would be left.
9. Solidness isn’t a trait it’s a state.
10. In my country, there are no wars, and yet its people don’t live in peace.

Previous thoughts

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Once upon a time

She was a character in a big book that was kept closed, untouched for years. Till one day she decided to become a real girl and get out of this book, like Pinocchio, she heard about him as one of the characters told her about him when she was just some words in the book. She didn’t think she was real enough being locked in the book.

She remained for years thinking and collecting her inner strength till one day she made it. She came out, looked around and found herself in a house just similar to the one in she used to live in the book.

Everything was exactly the same except that they were just black letters typed on white pages, that her imagination has colored the way they were in reality.
While surfing the room with her eyes, she found a mirror, she ran to see her reflected picture and that was the only thing that she has never visualized.
She didn’t have a clear perception of what is beautiful and what isn’t.
Words were different, there were long or short, difficult or easy, correct or wrongly typed…

She used to see colors within the black and white world she used to live in, so colors were not a new concept to her heart as it has been to her sight sense.
She was also able to see shapes and to feel everything, the seasons, the light and love.

She noticed a big library in the room with a considerable number of nicely organized set of books; she looked at them with sympathy rather than pity and imagined the imprisoned characters inside them, wondered if she can liberate them.

She grabbed a book opened the first page to see how the story starts and to her surprise, it didn’t begin with “once upon a time”.
She thought all the books are stories and all the stories are fairy tales.

She continued flipping the pages, reading a page after another, peeked at the end and didn’t find “lived happily ever after”.
It was a whole new meaning to her to realize that not all books are about prince and princesses, to find deeper and diversified meanings and learn them.
She checked another book and another book and another till she fell asleep.

The next morning, she got this idea of reading the book she came from, the other characters as well as hers, she was so curious to know whether she was a leading character, or just a secondary role with a marginal significance.

She started reading again, holding her breath, and got extremely thrilled when she found it was a story, and it began with “Once upon a time”. She also discovered that she was among the main characters. She had a great deal of love in her heart to the others and was loved and appreciated in return.

She continued reading very hastly as if her eyes were racing the words and the lines. She was anxious to see if there were princes and princesses like the classic stories. There were shadows of the noble, genuine knights but were all just illusions.

She was looking for a man of her dreams and he was never a prince nor a shepherd, he was a courageous loving knight.
The day flew with no trace of such a knight and almost half the book was over.
She put the book aside and wondered how the rest of the story would be.
Will she find him or won’t she.

Deep down, she so wanted to find him. Wanted the story to be a fairy tale and the end would be “they lived happily ever after.

She got scared, managed to read some more pages till she could no longer see the words, as if they have converted into another language or other symbols with no meaning the lines started to collapse and what was left … just white pages with black spots all over.

She tried to find an explanation but was finally convinced that it’s good once in a while to sit, review, and analyze one’s life, see the big picture from a distance.

At this very moment she could see that this book is life, she took a deep breath, jumped and sank into the book once again to be able to live it and no matter what the end will be, she will be happy and content that she has lived it.

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Even if it will last for minutes. I have to start practicing this new approach. Some selfishness might help I believe.

 I want to put myself first and show it.
 I want to talk and say “I” a lot, not the egoistic way but to create a place for myself in the front lines.
 I won’t be the one who is left behind.
 I want to make it a clear statement that I do EXIST.
 I won’t be a victim, won’t sacrifice even the slightest things, my time and my life will have to be respected.
 I am responsible enough and I know what are my duties as well as my rights.

From experience If I won’t do that, no one will.

Rights have to be earned and never granted.

So here I am having my breakfast oats meal, working, and writing.
Preparing a claim for the stationary that I have been purchasing on my expense.
Preparing the other request to have a mobile line as I am entitled to and collect my allowance that I never received.

Money has been a sensitive issue to me even when I was young, didn’t like to ask mom or dad for money. My mom used to go and leave me my allowance in my room or in my hand bag to save me the embarrassment. Still she does that when she feels I am running out of money. She is a wonderful mom, she still treats us as her baby girls.

Anyways, I believe that modesty is key. meaning that there is always a mid way between the two extremes.

Here is a secret: after writing this post, I don’t feel comfortable seeing the “I” commencing the six bullet points.

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Undo

Why do you suddenly jump off your chair and click undo?
It’s simply because you realized you made a mistake or something that you would regret and wish it has never been done.
So that’s what I did …
I was just the cursor that went, pointed at undo …and instead of waiting to be clicked, I did the job myself as that was about to be done anyways.
I did it to make someone much more comfortable, out of care and purely good intensions.
I wanted to leave him the space he wanted with sincerely no hard feelings.
To this person, believe me it’s fine, people are different and I accept and respect differences, thanks for making things clear.
And sorry I couldn’t keep my promise, felt there will be a message for me and I was right.
Wishing you all the best in what you are doing.

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The real me

You look at me and see the girl
Who lives inside the golden world
But don’t believe
That’s all there is to see
You’ll never know the real me

She smiles through a thousand tears
And harbours adolescent fears
She dreams of all
That she can never be
She wades in insecurity
And hides herself inside of me

Don’t say she takes it all for granted
I’m well aware of all I have
Don’t think that I am disenchanted
Please understand

It seems as though I’ve always been

Somebody outside looking in
Well, here I am for all of them to bleed
But they can’t take my heart from me
And they can’t bring me to my knees
They’ll never know the real me

Lyrics of Looking in song: I love it.

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