Pausing for a while and thinking

I feel that most of the time we just react to situations, we don’t spend some quality time alone to think and plan. We are taking decisions on the go.. and these decisions are often influenced by the moment’s mood, external temporary factors, emotions,…
We don’t always have the luxury of deferring issues till we can think, scrutinize and look into details. But had we have this time we should realize that we need to look inwards not only outwards…

Look at people in the streets and see their faces, do they look happy, content, satisfied,… ? no matter what their status is, no matter if they are in the bus, walking or driving a fancy car. To me some people look like they aren’t even alive, they look disconnected from their surroundings. And others are really aggravated, like a bomb … Only god knows what burdens/aches are they enduring and what are their hidden stories.

A real attempt and time should be invested in trying to connect, find some inner peace, discover and comfort oneself. Family and friends are important but they are not enough.
There is a great need to gather and unite your scattered thoughts, soothe your mind, ask questions and try to find where the enjoyment is…
Some people do exercises and practices like: meditation, yoga, prayers, …
And it really does help.

Another practice that should be sought; beauty appreciation … yes you might be having serious problem but god has perfected this world so we can enjoy his bless.

Last but not least, some compassion, empathy and thoughtfulness are so gravely required.
Do the effort and reach for others, no matter if you know them or not …may be they need your help, some consideration and forgiveness, a comforting words or even a smile.
Do it because you needed to as much as they did, you don’t have to be rewarded… you will always be remembered as the perfect stranger sent from heaven.

Now why don’t we grab a remote control, press mute … feel the quietness, sink into our souls, listen, feel, evaluate, keep the love inside and take the negative energy and thoughts away, purify our hearts and get once more to the surface, share and celebrate our being with the world.

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Body Talk

Two months ago, if you have asked me what was my coworker’s shirt color.
I would have said.., I don’t know, what was it… blue ? :S
This is just a simple example of how a bad observer I used to be.
Moreover, I would have said, I don’t care. It’s none of my business and I don’t judge people based on how they dress …

I haven’t changed my opinion by the way, but I have changed my outlook…
Have started reading about body language and reading people… (Haven’t bought books yet, just surfed the internet and read so many articles).

I heard at work an HR specialist once saying … I read people.
She mentioned something about a colleague and later on it has been proved right. May be it was one lucky guess? … may be. But still the fact that paying more attention to what people say and most importantly how they say it, can pretty much reveal what they mean and who they are.

We all have the gift, a sixth sense kind of thing that sometimes warns us upon meeting specific people that, they are not what they seem.
It can’t be described; it’s just a feeling that you are not comfortable.

The same gift makes us know when someone is lying.,, from the eyes, tone of voice, how nervous or cold that someone is, how consistent is the story being told.
And can also tell him/her that you are not buying it without saying a word.

However, some people are hard to read.. real bad people; of course because they are well trained, in full control of their body language .. they are not transparent.
Flirts/womanizers are somehow hard to read, it’s funny because you can easily tell they are interested but yet you can never tell if they are sincere. (good news … read them in an encounter with some other girl, watch the show and laugh out loud 😀 )

So it’s not always about the physical appearance, it’s what your postures, gestures and eyes are revealing. We just have to pay more attention if we really want to send and receive correct complete messages/ signals to one another.

About physical appearance and grooming, they do reveal things about the personality as well… it’s like a puzzle, so many pieces you put together to get somehow a closer picture (human beings are very complicated).

Have just remembered an advice a colleague once gave me about guys, since I didn’t use to pay attention. She went like “the three thing you MUST look at are: his watch, shoes and hands”. That was hilarious :D, it’s unbelievable how do people judge.

Cheers,

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I am alone but not lonely

My colleague who used to share the office with me has resigned. Now the office is all mine and although I will miss her and all , still I am enjoying being alone in the office.
I do enjoy and appreciate a good company, and having a quality time with dear family members, good friends and interesting people.
People whom I can relate to, benefit or benefit from, share with them thoughts and opinions. Listen and talk and feel secure and warm just by being with them.

It’s always about the quality of people not the quantity, I have never had a large number of friends but I have always been blessed with wonderful ones.
I don’t feel comfortable at all in parties, events or large outings, I can’t even talk in the presence of more than five people. It’s not because I am shy or I have nothing to say … I am shy it’s not the reason. The reason is and I am talking about us loud Egyptians, normally you find one of these patterns:

1- Someone starts talking about himself/herself the whole time without giving anyone the chance to say anything other than commenting with two or three words.
2- Someone who plays the role of the funny guy or girl telling jokes and makes fun of people who might be or might not be present.
3- People who talks about something I don’t have enough knowledge about, so I would better listen and benefit rather than interrupting for no reason.
4- People talking about topics that I am not really interested in. So instead of acting like a hypocrite, why don’t I just act politely, smile and leave to have a better use of my time.
5- Talking in public about family or personal matters that I wouldn’t feel comfortable intruding in.

I believe I can’t be regarded as a sociable person, I am more of a calm, introverted kind,
I value people as well as the silent moments and they don’t intimidate me.

I can sit with someone and feel content with just the energy spread from his intellect, charisma or warmth with very few words said but mattered rather than a violent evening of loud voices, hysterical laughs, and phones ringing.

Loneliness has nothing to do with having someone in your room/office or not, it’s having no one in your heart… that’s loneliness. So I thank god I am not lonely.

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Spontaneity, Manners and what they call “Social Grace”

I am a messy, sometimes clumsy person myself. but I always do my best to be no trouble for anyone. So I might drop my silverware in a formal dinner, take time to recognize the fish fork … spill something from my plate on the table cloth or me although I try very hard to place the napkin on my lap so I won’t ruin my outfit. But what I drop always finds a way to land on my skirt or pants. So I do irritate myself not anybody else.
But what surprises me based on previous incidents are :
– When someone approaches so much to talk to me: come on people give me a space. And no it’s not ok if it’s a woman.
– When we are having lunch or dinner with a variety of people and all of a sudden someone begins to smoke without even asking. Usually I don’t continue eating and of course I don’t say the real reason when I am asked, I just say “I’m full”.
– Shared plates (salads, appetizers, etc …), are sometimes disastrous; people pick things from the plate using their hands !. Other cases, they use their own fork, the one they are eating with. Some people do that while they know it’s unacceptable and try to cover it by saying lame statements like “ oh yummy” ! or “ God I love it, can’t wait” or “I just can’t stop eating” .
– When someone try to reach for something and leans over the table as if there is a starvation and it’s the only plate in the whole world, sacrificing people whom he might be leaning on, or his tie that is dipped in someone else’s soup.
– There are another kind who loves you to try the food first and stare at you, trying to comprehend from the facial expressions if the food is tasty or not. And sometimes ask if they can try it from your plate before ordering it !.
– Picky eaters : few of my friends are; they really torture the waiters … asking for the impossible and finally nothing is good enough. Some of them are the “extras freaks” (they like extra everything) or the “without freaks” , I do belong to the “without freaks” kind. except that I forget to tell the waiter, and always become surprised by onions or garlic but because of the hard time I know the waiter had. I decide to just eat. I ear onions and garlic but not in public places, I don’t order plates with strong smells.
– Dinning tables are no place to discuss digestion problems. There is another cozy place that everyone can think ALONE about these problems. And if the problem persists he can go to a doctor.
– Last thing, a quiet peaceful or even silent dinner is so much appreciated. Let’s view it like that: talking is the complete opposite of eating (especially big chunks). So there is always a compromise , or you can always alternate a piece of food … then a sentence. It’s not too hard.

Finally that doesn’t happen a lot by the way, but it always happens when it’s not expected.

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